They say that when a heart breaks, you’ve got to fight like hell to make sure that you’re still alive. Experiencing real heart break is a genuine part of life. The confusion and fear associated with loss is only there to remind us that someone else better is waiting for us. We may not find them that day or even a year from that moment, but someone is waiting for their path to cross yours. Fighting for real love is exhausting yet very much worth it in the end, but oftentimes people get comfortable in an un-healthy relationship. They feel as though that relationship is the real deal and that they should just accept it for what it is. Why the hell should anyone settle for mediocracy in a relationship? I’m here to say that accepting anything less than whimsical and amazing is unacceptable. Why do I say this? You may ask me, “What does this blogger know?” I’ve earned the right to say it because I’ve experienced true heart break. Heart break that tore me down and brought me down to my knees. Heart break that paralyzed me and brought demons up that had been closed behind locked doors for years. The tears never seemed to stop and excuses came between myself and participating in life. Real heart break is no joke, and the after effects of the pain would score a 9+ on a richter scale. It’s earth shattering and it can quite literally change someones life path for the worse or the better. See, that’s where heart break can be a bitch. One can either grow and learn from the heart break they experienced or others tend to remain in that moment of heart break forever. Those that are stuck in that moment are those that will grow up with a sense of resentment and an independence that disallows anyone to break through their wall. Those are the ones we all hurt for. The ones that will never allow the opportunity of love to show up on their door-step.
I experienced true heart break in the summer of 2008. Splitting from my high school sweetheart after nearly four years was enough to make any young adult question their very existence. I was young and naiive and had pretty much planned my future with this individual never realizing that we may not end up together. As you can imagine, my entire world as I knew came crashing down, and I didn’t land on my feet at first. I cried a lot in the first few weeks and questioned everything I had done during the relationship. I tried to rack my brain trying to figure out what the hell had happened and how the hell I was going to move on.
Instead of continuing my somber and depressing attitude, I decided to live for me. I had lived most of my young adult life living for others and my significant other and had missed out on a lot of great things normal people my age had been experiencing. Those experiences that I had missed growing up were not all a direct result of my ex, but a combination of life events and choice. I needed to find out who I was as a single person. I had lived in the shadow of others nearly my entire teenage life and was ready to live a life for me. I’m so glad that I did, because I wouldn’t be the young woman I am today. Instead of holding a grudge against my ex, I can honestly thank him for teaching me so many valuable life lessons. I would thank him for helping me to experience true heart break because without it, I would know what true love is.
I was fortunate to run into my soul-mate later that summer after my heart was broken. He had been in my sight for years before I realized that I liked him more than a friend. He was right before my eyes. How had I missed it? I didn’t question that very long, because all that was important was that I had finally recognized who he was to me then in that moment and who he would be to me in the future. Today, he is my husband of nearly 4 years, my partner of 6.5 years and father to our 10.5 month old son. He is my soul-mate, my best friend and my biggest fan. He is the reason why I would experience my heart being broken all over again.
So ladies and gents, don’t be afraid of getting your heart broken. It’s life. I assure you that life will go on, and somewhere down the road you will meet that one person who allows you to understand why experiencing a broken heart was necessary.