Why do we have so much miscommunication in relationships today? Oftentimes, we love our partner how we want them to love us, not the way they might actually need to be loved.
We all have a burning desire to be loved. The problem is that we may be receiving and giving the wrong type of love which can leave one feeling empty and unwanted. The only way of knowing and in turning providing your spouse with their ideal type of love is simply to ask.
Miscommunication or lack there of is oftentimes what causes conflict within a relationship. That is why effective communication is necessary and those involved in the relationship are open about their wants and needs which can ultimately lead to less conflict and better communication.
That is where the 5 Love Languages come into play. As someone who understands what her love language is, it’s no surprise that I expect my spouse to understand it. The problem is that some individuals may not have an interest in understanding their spouses’ love language or their own. Why is that? If one had an understanding of their spouses’ love language (and the spouse understands their spouses’ love language) as well as how it could positively improve their relationship, why wouldn’t they do everything in their power to educate themselves on the topic?
That question may never be answered, unfortunately.
Here are the 5 Love Languages:
- Quality Time: For someone who lives and breaths this love language, they tend to be those that like meaningful conversations, shared activities and eye contact. They appreciate time with their partner and that is what they most desire.
- Receiving Gifts: Some individuals love to receive gifts and loves surprises. This type of person loves to be showered with clothes, jewelry, flowers or even chocolates. This is how they desire to be love, so in order to accommodate their type of love, you buy them gifts. Sometimes these people appreciate the gift of self as well.
- Words of Affection: A partner who falls under this love language is one that loves receiving compliments, love notes and daily encouragement. These people tend to be more sensitive as well as one that won’t criticize other people and oftentimes their way of lashing out is through harsh words.
- Physical Touch: If you have a partner who is affectionate and someone that would be referred to as touchy-feely, thtse are the individuals whose love language is physical touch. Sex is more than just an orgasm, it’s a connection. Holding hands, hugging and kissing are all important actions that fall under thie love language. If these acts aren’t carried out, the person who falls into this category may feel unloved.
- Acts of Service: Some individuals enjoy doing things for other people. This person tends to feel loved when their partner helps out with chores or does things for them, but it’s important to keep in mind that acts of service should be done out of love, not the sense of obligation.
What love language does your partner speak? How can you better cater to their love language?
Here is a little guide to Living Out the Five Love Languages at Home–
Although we cannot force our spouse to read the popular book, we can speak openly with them about our love language. Help them understand why it’s our love language, and then ask them what love language they think they are. You’ll be surprised how much of a difference this heart to heart conversation can have on your relationship. I wholeheartedly agree that understanding your spouses’ love language (as well as our own) is imperative to any relationship. It helps the relationship mature and clear up conflicts that may of arouse previously because of failed understanding of the 5 love languages. The 5 love languages directly affects the status of a relationship.
Whether your relationship is great or whether you’re struggling, every couple should read this book. It will help grow your marriage, your love for one another and provide the ground-work for better communication.