Do I claim to be a relationship expert? Heavens No! Does my spouse and I have issues from time to time? Most certainly, but doesn’t everyone? Those real-life issues do not define us. 2014 was the most amazing year and also the most challenging. We welcomed our first child into this world, and somewhere, somehow within all the commotion and excitement we lost our once strong connection. We aren’t the same people we were before we became parents. We both changed, and sometimes those differences make us feel further apart.
But, just because this connection is lost, does not mean that our marriage is lost. What it means is that marriage is hard. It’s really really hard. What I will also say is that there are some harsh realities about marriage after children. Harsh realities that most couples don’t talk about. Before children, you may have had more time to spend quality time together with your spouse. If you’re like me, that was far and few between, but regardless you were able to have spontaneous dates without having to ship the child off to their grandparents house for the night. Now, everything has to be planned well in advance, and more often than not, the planning part is much harder than just staying at home.
I think one thing that is important to point out is that most couples are keenly aware of these struggles and these realities. What’s important is how these couples chose to handle these struggles. Some couples may walk away and close the door on their marriage stating “irreconcilable differences” while others just chose to fight for their marriage. It’s also important to point out that my marriage to my spouse is fine despite such challenges. We love each other, we understand each other and we are accepting of each other. We knew there would be challenges associated with getting married, and then becoming parents, we knew that working opposite shifts of each other with limited quality time would be hard, but every day we understand and accept these challenges and fight for our marriage. If marriage was EASY, everyone would be doing it.
Here are 7 Things No one Tells You about Marriage (After Children):