Everyone told me so many different things about parenthood but no one could prepare me for being a “single” mom. Now let me clarify what I mean by being a “single” mom. You see, for those of you who don’t know me, my husband works second shift at his job. That means he goes into work at 3pm and doesn’t leave until 11pm. With his 40 minute drive home, he typically gets home around 11:45. At this point, Braxton and I have been asleep (hopefully) for several hours. I work a typical work day: 8am-5pm. Our different work hours means that we very much so raise our child as “single” parents. The weekends aren’t much better because my husband works most weekends, but in the rare occasion that he does get the weekend off, we are busy visiting with family and friends. Sure, I get to see him for a few hours before he goes into work but 2pm comes very quickly.
It seems like when I get home from picking Braxton up, all I do is take care of him. I don’t have much time to clean or cook and oftentimes I lose track if time. Bedtime comes quickly most nights.
I’m reading a very interesting book right now titled, ‘ I was a really Good Mom before I had kids’ and let me tell you something..those authors are dynamite. Everything they say is spot on for the most part. There is a conditions battle I believe most woman deal with and that is whether or not they stay home with their child is continue with their career. It seems if you put your child in daycare, some people view you as a failure. Older generations think it was necessary that the mother stay home with the children whereas today, my generation are working mothers. Although, I’d love to stay home with my son, it just isn’t feasible. Sure, we could afford my not working, but with the goals my husband and I have for our future, it just isn’t possible. I honestly feel this situation is a lose-lose. Either way, a parent is letting someone down.
Being a working mother is sooooo much harder than I could have imagined. First, just leaving my infant son in the morning is a struggle but when you add full work days, it can be a little much at times. Secondly, I don’t get to see my husband like I did when I was on maternity leave. One of the biggest challenges I have had is pumping at work in order to maintain ade quest milk supply. Finding the time to pump every 2-4 hours is quite impossible. I try the best I can, but in my line of work, I’ll be lucky if I can eat. I give mad props for those mothers working full time and managing to find time to pump as often as we are suppose to be pumping. It’s so difficult.
I am loving parenthood, truly. I just miss my husband tremendously, and wish someone would have warned me about opposite work schedules between spouses. I could never have imagined how difficult this was. I don’t want my son to know us as “single” parents but rather as a family.
I believe every mother should go purchase or borrow, ” I was a really Good Mom before I got pregnant”. There are some very truthful statements and ideas on several topics. I highly recommend reading it.