We have all more than likely been guilty of staying in a relationship far much longer than we should have. It’s in our nature to see the good people and think that can people can change. I’m here to say that most people do not change. Call it stubbornness or what have you, but in my personal experience, people only change when THEY want to change, NOT when others want them to change. Being in a relationship when you are unhappy is not only unfair to you, but also your partner. You both deserve to be happy. If you’re happier apart, then so be it. Here are some signs to look for when determining if it’s time to break up.
- You lose your identity. It’s easy to miss the independence you had before you were in a relationship. Most individuals may feel as though they don’t have their own friends anymore and that socializing as a couple is the new thing. Why lose your identify when your personality and independence attracted your spouse in the first place?
- You fake orgasms just to get it over with. If you’re faking orgasms just to get it over with, get out now! Not only is that unfair to your spouse, but it’s unfair to you. Sex should be fun, not a burden.
- You are genuinely unhappy. You dread seeing your partner and you can think of a million things you’d rather be doing then seeing them.
- You’re only with them because it’s comfortable. You’re scared of change and the thought of starting over terrifies you. Trust me, I’ve been there. Being with someone for years only to have the relationship dissolve is scary. The future becomes unknown and you have to start over. I’m here to say that’s it’s ok. Starting over was the best decision I have ever made.
- You question your existence. You often ask yourself “is this it? Is this what happy is? ” You may start to realize that you’re settling, and that you’re not who you want to be when you’re with that person. Get out before you lose yourself.
- You often find yourself contemplating having an affair. You see an attractive person and you start to imagine what it would be like to be with them. You may start to fantasize about being with someone else other than your significant other. If you ever start having these thoughts, it’s imperative to end the relationship before someone gets hurt. Your significant other deserves that.
- You’re constantly being interrogated on your daily routine. This is an indicator that your significant other may not trust you. They may have doubts regarding your relationship and they may start questioning your routine out of pure jealously or fear of you having an affair.
- You are emotionally and physically abused. If your significant other is hurting you, you need to get out of the relationship immediately. There is no waiting and praying that they change. From personal experience, they will not change. You deserve more than to tolerate such treatment.
- The people closest to you express concern. If several people express alarm about your relationship, it’s wise to at least take it seriously.
- Your communication is strained and superficial. If you’re struggling to have a conversation with your significant other, it will not get better and your relationship is sure to suffer as a result.
- You don’t feel 100% supported. If you begin to notice that you’re significant other shows little regard for your ambitions and constantly expresses a ‘me-first attitude’, you’re probably with someone who is more selfish than selfless.
- You’re not attracted to them or love them anymore. If this is the case, then there is no reason to stick around. Don’t put yourself or them through the pain of trying to stick it out when it’s not based on attraction or love. This is painful for both involved.
Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t make you happy. You deserve someone who takes your breath away for all of the right reasons. Don’t ever settle or think you don’t deserve the best. I’ve been down that road of settling and thinking I couldn’t do better. It took a long time to overcome this mind-set, but once you meet the one you’re supposed to be with, the long and painful journey was worth it.