A day will come when you will realize that certain individuals are not who they used to be, and that people you had once considered to be best friends are now, at best, complete strangers,
There may not have been a major falling out or a pivotal movement when the friendship just changed, but it simply just stopped existing.
You may be asking yourself if the failed friendship is your fault or maybe you question that some of their actions actually led to the dissolution of the once blossoming friendship. The sad reality is both of these reasons tend to not be the reason behind the failed friendship.
There are different ways to come to terms with the reality that people who felt like you once knew so well just aren’t who they used to be and that the friendship is indeed dead.
- They’re not meeting you half-way. Don’t spend all of your energy trying to make things work when they clearly aren’t making the friendship a priority.
- You’re lives are polar opposite. This could be due partially because of motherhood, a move, school and/or jobs.
- Accept that some people were meant to be in your life only for a brief moment and not forever.
- There will be lessons learned from a failed friendship. It’s up to us to realize that the lessons are more valuable than the friendship
- Understand that they may not be who they used to be, but neither are you. That’s ok, but it may mean that the friendship has run its course because you don’t have much in common anymore.
- Every time you did hang out, it was to catch up. This was repeated and nothing new and exciting would happen because the past would be reminisced upon and we’d catch up on the present.
- You find out that you’re not friends anymore via social media instead of a phone call or face to face meeting. This is both shallow and immature. Be respectful because that friend has earned the right for an explanation.
- You only converse through text messages and social media. With no face-to-face interaction, the friendship is sure to fail because it has become superficial.
- They’re selfish. They only think about themselves and don’t try to compromise to make the friendship work.
- You’ve grown closer with other people and you don’t seem to miss their friendship.
- They drain you. Instead of being energized after spending time together, you feel emotionally and psychologically drained.
- They’re unsupportive. They don’t support you during some of your biggest life events. In the past they may have been on the sidelines cheering for you, but now you don’t even receive a text message showing their support.
- They’re just not there for you. In the past they were literally a phone call away and would be there for you when you needed them. Now you’re nothing but an inconvenience and burden.
- Your interests and values are completely different. There is no common ground for a simple conversation. They may have done some unethical things that you’d rather not associate yourself with because it goes against what you believe in.
- They have zero ambition. They’re ok with working a part-time job or they’re ok with being miserable at their job and rather than better themselves and their situation, they chose to bitch about it and still expect change to occur.
- You’re only their friend, when it’s convenient for them. Don’t be a convenient friend. It’s embarrassing to be that person, and you deserve so much better.
Once you realize that the friendship is over, I think you’ll be surprised of the sense of relief you will experience. After months or years of trying to make the friendship work, you are now free of that burdensome and pointless venture. Embrace the friends who make you a priority because they are you forever friends.