When one get married, most people don’t think about whether or not they’ll have problems starting a family. It’s our God-given right to reproduce and create our offspring, right? So why do 1 in 8 couples experience infertility? Why are some people cursed with that journey while others have zero issues expanding their family? Those are some questions I find myself asking yet again as we struggle to conceive for the second time. We struggled for nearly two years to conceive our first child and it’s looking like this time around won’t be any easier.
And the frustration and tears don’t lesson this time around either.
I can be pretty salty about the fact that my husband and I were both given bodies that prohibit us from conceiving easily. It’s not just him and it’s not just me- it’s both of us. We were given broke bodies in the sense that we can’t just have children when we want them. We have to plan it all or and visit fertility specialists and doctors, undergo tests and take medications that increase our chances. Through the journey, it has never been easy. It has taken such an emotional and physical toll on us both.
I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I believe that He has a plan that is greater than our own. One of which we may not agree with or fully understand. I struggle with acceptance, and I pray for Him to heal us. I beg for Him to bless us with another child only to be disappointed time and time again, month after month.
Who decides who should have to experience infertility? Is it a punishment? Why were we not given the bodies that were designed to reproduce as it should? We read in the Bible of those who are blessed with many children and then there are some stories of those who pray and beg for a child. Why can’t we be like Esther and receive another miracle baby from Him.
I find myself resenting our broken bodies. Praying for them to be healed, cured of infertility.
I oftentimes find myself questioning if I did something to my body to causes us such grief. And what had my husband done to deserve it? They say that no one is given more than they can handle, but I beg to differ.
I’ve had enough. We’ve had enough.
I find myself praying and begging for Him to hear my prayer. Bless us. Cure us. Give us patience but let us see the light at the end of the tunnel. Help us to work through our struggles as a team, and let us understand His journey for us. I pray for Him to heal our broken bodies and grant us the invaluable gift of a second child.
To those struggling with infertility: .it never gets easier. I’d be lying if I tried to tell you otherwise. What I can tell you is that though the journey is long and devastating the end result is beautiful. From someone who has struggled with infertility for several years now, I pray for your blessing. I pray that He gives you insight on His magnificent journey for you. I pray for Him to heal you and bless you with what you want most in this world-a child (or 5). No matter the struggle, don’t lose your faith.