10 Universal Truths about Raising Boys
I am the proud mom of two boys. Two very cute, very energetic, head-strong little boys who are equally a mix of their daddy’s attitude and pure masculinity and their mamma’s sass and sweetness. I often get asked what it’s like to raise boys, and I immediately visualize the funny memes circulating the internet that depict boys shooting each other with Nerf guns, while farting and running around in their underwear while their poor mother looks for her cold coffee while praying she can sneak in a quick shower before the day is done. My boys are pretty close in comparison to that depiction.
I thought I’d share some universal truths about being a boy mom.
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Boys have ENDLESS Energy…
Both of my boys party hard all day long. Like, I’m not sure if they’d ever sleep unless forced too. Oftentimes, despite the loudness and pure chaos, I let them run around and destroy the house, because if I want any chance of an early bedtime, I must let them work out their energy. If I had an ounce of their energy, I’d get way more done throughout the day.
“Momma’s Boys” are a REAL Thing..
There is something truly special about the bond between boys and their mothers. They want their mom to comfort them when they’re upset, sing to them, read to them, even wipe their butt verses having their father do it. Literally, if my husband was standing right next the refrigerator and the kids wanted something inside, they’d search HIGH and low for me to snag that item from the fridge totally bypassing their most logical choice in the matter. I won’t lie, I certainly love the snuggles, but I do wish they’d realize their father was also capable of wiping their butts.
Boys are PHYSICAL..
I don’t think there is an evening that passes where wrestling doesn’t take place in some capacity. Boys love to jump, roll around, chase and wrestle. If there are some foam swords and some Nerf guns, that’s certainly a bonus for them. I even get in on the action from time to time, and despite the extra bruises and occasional bloody lip, I love our physical evenings.
Hide the NICE Things…
The sooner boy mom realize that things will be broken, the better. Because of the reality of boys being more physical, it’s no secret that things are to be broken. Usually this is an accident, but boys just aren’t as careful. Personally, my boys are always in a hurry to do the next thing, and they’re carelessness is a very real thing. If dad is done eating dinner, they want to be done so they can go wrestle which in turn can lead to a plate being placed half way on the table before falling to the floor below. Hide the nice things.
They are OBSESSED with their Penis…
Ohhh, yep I said it. Both boys literally play with their penis throughout the day, and despite me telling them to refrain from doing that, they still continue to do. I was reading to my boys the other night, and my five year old was literally playing with it. I told him to stop, and he said “why, it feels good”. Boys are boys. The best we can do is tell them that they can’t do that in public, that it’s their privates and pray they listen.
Accept and Embrace Messes…
Your home will never be clean again. We have way too many toys, and they’re spread all throughout the house. I find Nerf gun bullets in the most random places. I found one in my make-up back this past weekend. Boys also love to BE messy. They see a mud puddle, they jump in it. They see a sandbox? They roll around it it. I used to get soooo irritated that they were always covered in dirt and that their clothes were always stained, but then I realized those messes and stains were a direct result of a fun day. Let go of this. Accept and embrace the mess.
They EAT a TON…
My boys eat a ton! I’m sure it’ll only get worse as they grow. I could argue that some food is certainly wasted, but my boys snack a TON. They’re always walking around with food, which is another reason why my house is ALWAYS a mess. The amount of money I spend on groceries each month is enough to make anyone cringe. Also, be prepared for your child to ask for a snack almost immediately following dinner or right before bedtime.
Boys ARE Gross..
Besides playing with their penises, boys have an unusual obsession with their body. Boys love arm pit farts, making farting noises, real-life farts, butt jokes, spitting, picking their nose then flicking their boogers and making their belly buttons dance. Boys LOVE their cringe-worthy performances, because the reaction they receive is everything to them. My oldest loves to fart and talk about butts. It’s just what boys do, and it used to bother me. But, then I realize it was normal and the genuine belly laughs from my five year old when he farts, puts a smile on my face as well.
Pee, Pee Everywhere…
I’d be lying if I said boys were neat. I have literally NEVER cleaned up as much pee in my entire life! I’ve cleaned pee off the ceiling, the walls, myself (my youngest literally peed through his diaper onto my shirt this morning right before we were to leave the house), a sibling, the dog and so many other inanimate objects. It’s so gross. Plus, it’s not just about pee. It’s poop, too. Boys poop, and their poop can be huge and smell terrible. It’s like I have THREE grown men in my home. Accidents will happen, and we spend a lot of time cleaning up poop and pee. Just prepare yourself for this.
Not Every Boy is Alike…
I have two boys, and they are pretty different in comparison. It’s important as parents to recognize each child for their differences and embrace them. Some boys might be sporty, while the other one might be more into books and art. Each boy is unique. It’s our job to let them know that’s it’s OK to be different.
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Raising boys is an honor and an absolute adventure. Do any of these universal truths ring true for you?
