8 Powerful Things I’ve Learned Since My Cancer Diagnosis

It’s only been 4 months since my early-stage breast cancer diagnosis, 3 months since my bilateral double mastectomy, and I am less than 1 month until my final surgery. Not much time has passed since my diagnosis up until today, but it’s safe to say that this experience, this life-altering, eye-opening, emotionally trying and raw, experience has changed me forever. Although I am fortunate that only  surgery was able to treat and rid my body of the cancer, the  experience will forever leave a lasting legacy on my heart, mind, spirit and body.

Here are 8 Powerful Things I’ve learned since my diagnosis.

It Takes  A Village

No matter the diagnosis and treatment plan, you need a village to help get you through it. You absolutely cannot do it alone. You will experience physical, emotional and psychological pain, and you will need help. At the time of my diagnosis I had an (almost) five year old and a 16 month old. My inability to lift my children meant that I had to rely on others to help me with tasks that were once so routine and easy. That was so incredibly difficult for me to accept, but I had to in order to let my body heal. The acts of kindness my husband, our children and I received were overwhelming, and I pray that one day I can pay it forward.

Children Are Intuitive

My five year old understood what I was going through. Maybe not to the extent that adults understood, but he tried to help out as much as possible. Even helping with his little brother. Our oldest knew mommy was “sick” and we were given a book from the Cancer center that helped tell the story of cancer and what it entailed. We explained to our son that I would need surgery to make me better, and he seemed to understand and even wanted to learn more.

Your Body is Amazing

I’m an avid runner and weightlifter, so the though to surgery and the recovery terrified me. I had worked so hard to get to the point I was at, that I feared I’d have to start over. The exact opposite happened. Two days following my surgery, I was back in the gym, drains and all. I only walked for 30 minutes, but I didn’t let the surgery set me back. I was careful as I worked my way back into a gym routine. After only a few weeks, I was back to running. I not only was back to the pace and distance I was before surgery, I started running faster and ran farther. I completed a 10K race almost three months to the day following my surgery, and I just missed placing 3rd in my age group. Understand that your body is resilient. If you take care of it, it will bounce back stronger. Take the time to heal, but don’t let it stop you from things you like doing. I found that getting back to my normal routine helped me cope with the pain and the situation as a whole.

It’s All Relative

I quickly found that I had to look at the situation differently. It was all relative. The cancer was caught early. Surgery was the only treatment I needed. The whole ordeal has literally changed my outlook on the world, and I have a new norm. I’ve learned to appreciate the little things more, be more present and spend more time with the ones that mean the most to me.

Treatment is a Confidence Killer

There is a de-feminizing effect of surgery to remove both, one or parts of the breast in order to rid your body of the cancer. Those who have more aggressive forms of treatment are subject to losing their hair, their eyelashes and eyebrows.  Treatment can cause weight gain, nausea, skin issues, loss of feeling in areas and more. Your entire identity has shifted, and although we are thankful that the cancer is gone, these differences in the way we look  stare at us as an agonizing reminder of what we went through. If you’re able to get over the external look, you might battle with how you feel internally. It’s a vicious cycle, one that is hard to accept overnight. I’d be lying if I said the scars don’t really upset me still. I’d be lying if I said the lack if feeling doesn’t affect. I’d be lying if I said that Cancer didn’t break me, because to an extent, it did.

Awkward Conversations Will Happen

AS someone who went through it, I appreciate when someone tries to be considerate of what they say, but there will always be that one person that puts their foot in their mouth. Though unintentional, they manage to say something offensive without even knowing it. I cannot tell you how many times I fell victim of this foot in mouth scenario, but what I did appreciate is that they were trying to express empathy, compassion and genuine interest and support in what I was going through. My advice is that if you don’t know what to say, maybe say nothing and just be present. Maybe say something like ” I’m sorry this is happening to you. How can I help?”

Your Cancer Story is Your Own

One thing I did right after I was diagnosed was spend hours on google searching for anything breast cancer related. I read about other women’s stories, their struggles, misfortunes, successes and tragedies and it really messed with me. I learned quickly that I needed to own my story. I had to stop reading other’s stories because it was really impacting me. I was reading stories of young women dying from breast cancer or having awful side affects following their treatment. I had to stop engaging in their stories and start owning my own.

Gratitude

This experience has been eye-opening in the perspective that I have recognized the luck I have throughout my experience. I only discovered I had cancer when my sister was diagnosed and encouraged me to get tested. Because of that, it was caught early. Because it was caught early, “minimal” treatment was needed to rid my body of it. I’m lucky to say the least.

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Cancer forced me to truly see that life is short. I was only 32 when I was diagnosed. 32. Living with the uncertainly surrounding a cancer diagnosis means that no time is wasted. It’s simply not an option. We don’t know how long we have left on this Earth, so every single moment should be cherished. I started being present more for my husband and children. I started taking better care of my body. I started really focusing on my dreams. I realized that I have to live each day like it’s my last, because although I was lucky that my cancer was caught early, there’s no telling what other unknown things will be thrown our way. Live in the moment. Be present. Love fearlessly. Be grateful and thankful.