How to Show Yourself Grace During Chemotherapy

Going through chemotherapy is a journey no one can truly prepare you for — physically, emotionally, or mentally. One of the hardest lessons I’m learning firsthand is how to show myself grace through it all.

My current chemo schedule is every three weeks. And through this cycle, I’ve come to know the rhythm all too well:

• The first week and a half (sometimes even pushing into two weeks) after chemo, I feel like absolute garbage.

• Bone aches, muscle pain, headaches, nausea, exhaustion — it’s all part of the package deal.

• If I’m lucky, I might get one week where I feel somewhat “normal” again before it’s time to head back for another round.

At first, I put so much pressure on myself during that “good” week. I felt like I had to catch up — to do everything I hadn’t been able to do when I was curled up on the couch, feeling like a stranger in my own body.
But here’s what I’m slowly learning: it’s okay not to hustle, even when you feel okay.

Healing isn’t just physical — it’s emotional, too. Giving yourself permission to rest, even when you think you “should” be doing more, is part of that healing.

Here are a few ways I’m practicing grace with myself during chemotherapy:

1. Redefining Productivity

There were days before chemo when a productive day meant checking off 20 items on my to-do list. Now, some days just taking a shower, making a simple meal, or sending a text back to a friend is my version of a win. And that’s enough.

2. Listening to My Body, Not My Inner Critic

My body speaks loudly during this time — it asks for rest, for water, for sleep, for slowing down. But my inner critic? It tries to shame me for not “doing enough.” I’m learning to turn the volume down on that critic and listen to what my body is telling me instead.

3. Allowing Myself to Just Be

On my good days, it’s tempting to pack in as much as I can — but I’m realizing that it’s just as healing to simply be. To sit outside. To read a book. To laugh with someone I love. I don’t have to fill every free minute with productivity to make it valuable.

4. Accepting the Rollercoaster

Chemo doesn’t move in a straight line. It’s not “better every day” — it’s more like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, twists you didn’t see coming, and sudden drops that leave you breathless. I’m learning that riding it — not fighting it — is how you make it through with your spirit intact.

5. Speaking to Myself the Way I’d Speak to a Friend

I would never tell a friend who is hurting, “You’re lazy” or “You should be doing more.” So why would I say it to myself? I’m trying to replace the self-criticism with kindness, even if it feels awkward at first.

If you’re going through chemo too, please hear me when I say this: you don’t have to “earn” your rest. You don’t have to explain your limits. You don’t have to do anything but take care of yourself the best way you know how.

Some days that means moving forward with strength.
Some days that means lying in bed with Netflix and a heating pad.
Both are brave. Both are valid.
Both are grace.