5 Things My Deaf Child Has Taught Me About Parenting

If babies came with an owner’s manual, our lives would all be a tiny bit easier. At only a few weeks old, my son was diagnosed with profound hearing loss. Essentially, he is deaf He received his first pair of hearing aids at four months and will be getting cochlear implants TODAY!

All that set, here are 5 things my son has taught me:

I’m Stronger and More Resilient that I knew

When we first received you’re diagnosis, I was immediately filed with uncertainty, confusion and fear. How was I going to be the parent I knew you needed? I only knew dirty diapers, sleepless nights and throw-up, not deafness. I didn’t want to think about specialist appointments, surgery and meeting with social workers. I didn’t want to be that parent who feared their child would be bullied and teased for being “different”.

You have taught me that I’m stronger and more resilient that I ever thought possible. You taught me to be brave and educate myself to become an advocate for you. You  have taught me to deal with this everyday reality with grace and optimism.

Prepare for the Future, but Focus on the Present

Everyone asks if his hearing will be better once you have surgery. I explain that you will always be deaf. This surgery will not restore it, yet allow you, with the help of technology, to hear. Once your implants are taken off, your ability to hear will also be “off”.

I try to focus on what I know to be certain. I know that we will face challenges. I know that there will be language barriers and delays. I know that I will have to explain to your future teachers the importance of having an FM system and help to support your integration into a classroom setting.  While I focus on things I know to be true today, I am preparing for the future. I’m learning sign language because I know that when those implants are off, you will not be able to hear, and I never want you to be unable to communicate with me.

Be Prepared to Retell your Birth Story, Over and Over and Over Again.

I’ve come to know that every doctor, therapist, teacher and specialist will ask why you are deaf.  Was it the medication you were on while in NICU (Which we were originally told). Was it genetic? Yes. People will ask time and time again, so I’m prepared now every time I go to a doctors appointment just in case someone asks.

Confront and Learn About your Fears, then Address Them Head On

I’ve already started realizing how anxious this diagnosis makes me. The cochlear implant surgery has me feeling all sorts of thing, the continuous appointments to help develop language and continuous care has me in constant fear. I want to be that parent who can confidently say that I’ve got this, but I’d be lying if I said I was fearful of it all. What I do know is that I will confront my fear and continue to learn about the many dynamics of what it means to be a parent of a deaf child. I’ll address it and tackle it head one as gracefully as possible.

Sometimes you Just Need a Good Cry Session 

This is  so incredibly accurate. I am strong. I am resilient. But, I am also human. I’ll make the decisions and choices I feel are best for you and the family, and I’ll always work hard to make sure you know how loved you are exactly how you are.  Some days are hard, guys. There is, and always will be, a constant battle to ensure that you have the right resources. You’ll receive looks of pity and confusion from strangers, and sometimes my protective momma bear instincts kick in and I want to address these all in ways that might not be graceful.

The emotions are overwhelming. I will always worry. How can I gracefully navigate the insensitive questions? How can I adequately advocate and ensure you have the best resources available once you get to school? How will dating go for you when you’re older? What about your career? I realize some of these fears are reasonable, some might be a bit irrational. What I do know is that I will cry from time to time, but I will wash my face and move forward.

 

Thank you for teaching me so much in so little time. Blessed to be your momma, sweet child of mine.