15 Ways to Protect your Marriage
Marriage is valuable, and anything worth value deserves to be protected. Regardless of whether things are good in your marriage with your husband, it’s wise to always keep a watchful eye for the unpredictable. Communicate well and discuss potential dangers that could arise.
With the rise in divorce, there is no doubt that many couples choose to give up on their broken marriage instead of working through their issues.
“Broken marriage, to save or not to save? That is often the question most people ask nowadays whose marriage is on the rocks. Should you really try to save or not save your marriage? It really depends on one’s situation. A broken marriage is not something that one wishes for but sometimes it is better that way for the good of everybody. Every marriage has its flaws, no marriage is perfect but those imperfections are not reason enough to split unless of course the main factor that holds a marriage is gone.”-unknown
Every single marriage has different challenges and circumstances, but there are some danger zones that are pretty universal across a large number of couples. With that being said, here are 15 ways to protect your marriage and preventing you both from stumbling, damaging or destroying on of the most important things in your life–your marriage. By protecting your marriage now may help prevent asking yourself that question one day- “Broken marriage, to save or not to save?”.
1) Absolutely NO Secrets:
There is and never will be a good reason to keep a secret from your spouse.When dishonesty arises in the marriage, it leads to trust issues. Honesty is essential.
2) Be Careful of Relationships of the Opposite Sex:
Protect your hearts and those of the opposite sex by choosing wisely who you communicate with. If you have a ‘friend’ of the opposite sex who is a tad bit flirty or inappropriate around you, those are the types of people who don’t want you to protect your heart. These people are toxic to your marriage, and they’re disrespecting you and your spouse.
3) Don’t Compare Your Marriage to Others:
Every marriage has their own challenges and it’s important to understand that. By comparing you marriage to others, you’re creating unrealistic expectations for your marriage, and you’re potentially setting it up for failure. If you think your friends marriage is perfect and you’re envious of their marriage, you’re not protecting yours. You may not have a clue how their marriage is behind closed doors. Some things aren’t always obvious.
4) Pursue your Spouse:
Both husbands and wives like to feel desired. One would be completely naive to think that nobody is flirting with their spouse. You should be the one pursing your spouse at all times. You shouldn’t stop pursuing your spouse because you’re married. Try leaving a note in an unexpected place or sending a random text message throughout the day letting them know that you’re thinking of them.
5) Schedule a Date Night
Life should never get too busy to the point that you don’t have time to spend with your spouse. Work and children can make it difficult to find the time, but it’s imperative that time is made each week to reconnect with your spouse on an intimate level. Take turns coming up with ideas for your date night, and make sure that date night consists of you and your spouse–only!
6) Always Encourage Your Spouse:
Instead of beating your spouse down more when they’re already down, use it as an opportunity to breathe life into them. Choose to encourage them versus expressing your frustration. This will help strengthen your marriage. You should always be your spouses biggest fan regardless of the situation-whether good or bad, make sure to be there for them.
7) Don’t keep Score:
Try not to keep track of who’s doing what when it comes to household chores to trekking the kids to and from soccer practice. Remember that marriage is a relationship and together you’re a team. Your marriage is not a game with one spouse being the winner and the other one being the spouse.
8) Finances:
Get on the same page about your budget. Don’t keep purchases secret and always discuss large purchases with your spouse. Work together to get the bills paid, work together to save money and work together to become financially united.
9) Defend your Spouse:
You should always have your spouses back. If someone is speaking poorly of your spouse, it’s your responsibility to come to their defense. Reconsider those friends who speak out against your marriage because they will most likely cause friction within the marriage.
10) Hold yourself Accountable:
Always check in with your spouse. It doesn’t mean that there is a lack of trust within the marriage, it’s a sign that you respect your spouse. If you know that you’re going to be late, call and let your spouse know. If you’re going to lunch with friends, don’t keep that from your spouse. Finding these things out at a later time might breed suspicion and resentment towards you.
11) Transparent communication:
The only reason to have to have passwords that your spouses doesn’t know is if you have something to hide from your spouse. Both spouses should be comfortable with allowing their spouses access to any and all social media accounts, text messages or emails.
12) Confide in Your Spouse:
Couples who share their fears and aspirations are much more likely to have better communication and be happier within their marriage. One should be able to tell their spouse anything-good or bad- and know that their spouse will keep it private and always provide their love and support.
13) Pray for Your Marriage-Together:
Pray together. Pray for a strong marriage. Pray for understanding. Pray for strength. Pray for love. Those couples who pray together, stay together. No marriage is too good to not seek HIS guidance from time to time.
14) Beware of Time-Eating Hobbies:
It’s great that one has hobbies, but if that hobby causes you to spend time with others frequently away from your spouse, you may start believing you have more in common with those people instead of your spouse. Limit the hours spent on separate activities each week, and try to commit to a hobby that both of you enjoy.
15) Don’t Give Up:
Fight for your marriage even when you can’t stand each other. Pray for God to intervene and replace anger with love and pain for forgiveness. Pray for Him to restore the peace and for the broken hearts to be mended. Pray for Him to show you both the way. Marriage isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up with times get hard. Work together through thick and thin, hand-in-hand, forever and always.
If you marriage has failed, know that He still loves and adores you. Know that when it is your time to come home, He will be there with open arms.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” -Proverbs 3:3
Photo credits:Scott Webb and Danielle Jones
