Dear Momma, On those Really Tough Days

Some days are just hard. Some days you struggle. Some days knock the dang floor right out from underneath you rendering you feeling defeated. There are days when they take every thing out of you, and you question how you can keep going.

For those mommas on the really tough days when you feel defeated, I have something I’d like to say to you..

I see you.

I see your bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

I see the exhaustion plastered over by a fake smile.

You’re trying to be strong- I get it.

I understand.

I see the tears in the corners of your eyes barely being held back as though a dam is temporarily blocking the rush of the water.

I hear you.

I hear the frustration as you calmly try to reason with your child.

I see the texts that indirectly plead for help.

I see your social media posts expressing the many frustrations of parenthood.

I hear the long sigh of relief as you melt into a hot bath knowing you’re alone for the first time in hours.

The thought of hearing ‘mom..mom..mom” makes your head hurt.

I see you. I hear you. I understand.

Here’s the thing, I was here this weekend. I’m actually currently still here desperately  pleading with my children to get along. I yelled a lot this weekend, so  I understand the feeling of regret you’re feeling after yelling too much and saying things you hadn’t really meant. I know that feeling of defeat and sorrow when your child insists you ruined everything, or that they hate you or that they are having the worst day because of you. They scream these things as tears stream down their face.

I feel you when you constantly fear going out because you’re worried about judgement from others. I understand how hard it is to defend your child and their behavior against those that simply don’t understand or aren’t taking the time to understand. As a mother of a child with a hearing disability and another who suffers from ADHD and anxiety, these thoughts and feelings resonate deeply within my bones. No matter how much I reason and defend them, the more I feel defeated and unsupported.

I don’t have the words to help you through this difficult day, but I want you to know that you’re most certainly no alone, nor are you any less inferior of a mother.

I’d like to send out one BIG virtual hug. Maybe the person reading this is a dear friend I’ve known for years. Maybe we’re new friends, or maybe we don’t even know each other, yet you stumbled across this post. Regardless, I want you to know that I’m thinking of you. I’m praying for you, and I think you’re an amazing mom. Don’t stop defending and loving those babies. You got this. They adore you, and remember that this will pass.

Yesterday is history. You’re doing great, momma.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow will be better. You got this, momma.

Your tears will dry up. Your head will raise. You’re a great momma.

Your sorrow and heartache will go away. It gets better.

Your regret and guilt will be transformational and  a great point of reflection.

Your child will love you again. They’ll kiss you again. They’ll hug you so tightly, they squeeze the air out of you.

Many might not understand the struggle. Many won’t be able to see the tears or feel the deep amount of sorrow you’re experiencing, but I see you. I hear you. I understand.

Don’t quit. Don’t give up.

You are a good, good mom.