How to Be a Good Sports Parent: Setting the Right Example for Our Kids

This past weekend, I attended my 5th grader’s basketball game, excited to watch the kids play, compete, and most importantly, have fun. But unfortunately, the experience was overshadowed by a parent from the opposing team who was incredibly disrespectful and obnoxious. His behavior angered other parents and created an uncomfortable environment—not just for us, but for the kids on the court. It was a reminder that poor sportsmanship doesn’t just come from players; it often starts in the stands.

As parents, we play a critical role in shaping our children’s experiences in sports. We set the tone for how they handle competition, wins, losses, and teamwork. The way we behave on the sidelines matters just as much—if not more—than what happens on the court or field.

So, how can we be good sports parents? Here are a few key reminders to ensure we create a positive environment for our kids and everyone around us.

1. Model Good Sportsmanship

Kids watch and absorb everything we do. If we want them to respect the game, their teammates, and their opponents, we need to demonstrate that respect ourselves. Cheer for your child’s team without putting down the other. Congratulate great plays, no matter which team makes them. A simple, “Great hustle!” can go a long way in teaching kids that effort matters more than just the scoreboard.

2. Remember: It’s Their Game, Not Ours

It’s easy to get caught up in the competition, but at the end of the day, youth sports exist for the kids. They’re there to learn, grow, and enjoy the game—not to relive a parent’s past athletic dreams or feed an adult’s ego. The more we step back and let them play without pressure, the better experience they’ll have.

3. Respect the Coaches and Officials

Referees and coaches are not perfect. They will make calls we don’t agree with, and mistakes will happen. But yelling at officials or coaches only sets a bad example for the kids. If we show respect, our children will learn to do the same. After all, learning to deal with perceived unfairness is an important life skill.

4. Encourage All Players, Not Just Your Own

It’s easy to focus only on our own child, but youth sports are about teamwork. Encouraging other players, both on your child’s team and even the opposing team, fosters an environment of respect and community. A rising tide lifts all boats—when we support all kids, we build a better sports culture.

5. Keep Emotions in Check

Games can be intense, and it’s natural to feel frustrated at times. However, losing your temper or making negative comments in the stands only escalates tensions. If you find yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath, step away, and remind yourself why you’re there—to support your child, not to win at all costs.

6. Focus on Growth, Not Just Winning

Of course, everyone loves to win, but success in youth sports isn’t just about the final score. Kids gain confidence, resilience, and teamwork skills whether they win or lose. Instead of emphasizing winning, ask your child questions like:

  • “Did you have fun?”
  • “What was your favorite part of the game?”
  • “What’s something you learned today?”

Shifting the focus to personal growth helps kids stay engaged and love the sport long-term.

7. Create a Positive Game Day Atmosphere

Be the kind of parent that makes games enjoyable for everyone. Smile. Clap. Show appreciation for the kids’ hard work. Avoid engaging with negative or disruptive parents—feeding into the drama only adds fuel to the fire. If needed, remind others that the game is for the kids, not for parent rivalries.

Final Thoughts

No one wants to be the parent that ruins a game for others, but unfortunately, poor sportsmanship in the stands is all too common. The good news? We can all make a difference by modeling positive behavior, showing respect, and keeping the focus on what truly matters—helping our kids grow, learn, and enjoy the game.

Let’s do better for our children, their teammates, and the community. Because at the end of the day, youth sports should be fun, not frustrating.

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