My Word for the Year—and Why I’m Letting It Guide, Not Control Me

Every January, the internet fills with goals, resolutions, and lists of who we’re supposed to become by December 31st.

Lose the weight.
Make more money.
Be more disciplined.
Fix everything.

This year, I’m choosing something different.

Instead of a rigid set of goals, I chose a word.

Not a word to pressure me.
Not a word to demand more from me.
But a word to walk beside me.

My word for the year is transform.

Why “Transform” Chose Me

I didn’t pick this word lightly.

Cancer has already transformed me—
mentally,
physically,
spiritually,
emotionally.

It has stripped things away I once clung to.
It has exposed fears I didn’t know lived inside me.
It has softened me in places that used to be sharp—and strengthened me in ways I never expected.

As I step into the final six months of treatment, I’m standing in the middle of change whether I want to be or not. My body is changing. My energy is changing. My priorities are changing.

So instead of fighting transformation—or trying to rush past it—I’m choosing to honor it.

A Word That Guides, Not Controls

For me, transform isn’t a demand.

It’s an invitation.

It doesn’t come with deadlines or measurements.
It doesn’t ask me to hustle or perform or prove anything.
It simply asks me to notice who I’m becoming.

Some days, transformation will look quiet:

resting without guilt
saying no without explanation
listening to my body instead of pushing through

Other days, it might look bold:

choosing joy without apology
creating things that light my soul on fire
stepping into the version of myself I’ve always felt inside but didn’t have the courage—or space—to be

Transformation doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens in small, steady moments where you choose alignment over approval.

Letting Go of Who I Had to Be

Cancer has a way of removing the masks you didn’t even realize you were wearing.

I no longer want to be the version of myself that:

overcommits to avoid disappointing others
measures worth by productivity
ignores intuition to keep the peace
survives instead of lives

This year, transformation means allowing myself to evolve—without asking permission.

It means trusting that who I am becoming is enough, even if it looks different than what people expect from me.

Becoming Who I’ve Always Been

The truth is, transformation isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about remembering.

Remembering the woman who:

creates because it feels like oxygen
loves deeply and fiercely
finds meaning in words and stories
values presence over perfection

This year, I want to transform into the version of me that feels most true—not the most impressive.

No Finish Line Required

There is no end goal attached to this word.

No box to check.
No finish line to cross.

Just a gentle commitment to keep choosing what aligns, especially as I move through the final stretch of treatment and into whatever comes next.

If you’re tired of resolutions…
If you’re healing…
If you’re becoming someone new without fully knowing who that is yet…

Maybe a word is enough.

And maybe letting it guide you—without letting it control you—is the most powerful choice of all.

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How to Find Your Word for the Year (Without Forcing It)

If the idea of goals feels heavy right now, you’re not alone. A word can be a softer way to step into a new year—especially if you’re healing, grieving, growing, or simply tired.

Here’s what I’ve learned about choosing a word that actually supports you:

1. Start With Where You Are, Not Where You “Should” Be

Your word doesn’t need to be aspirational or impressive.

Ask yourself:

What season am I in right now?
What am I carrying?
What do I need more of—grace, courage, rest, honesty, joy?

Your word should meet you here, not pull you somewhere you’re not ready to go.

2. Let the Word Hold Space for Many Meanings

The best words aren’t rigid.

A good word can stretch and evolve with you:

Some days it might feel gentle.
Other days it might challenge you.
It should leave room for both strength and softness.

If a word feels too narrow, it may not be the right one.

3. Pay Attention to What Keeps Showing Up

Often, your word finds you before you find it.

Notice:

words that repeat in your journaling
phrases that hit you in books or songs
themes you keep circling back to in conversation

If a word keeps tapping you on the shoulder—listen.

4. Ask How You Want to Feel, Not What You Want to Achieve

This is a big one.

Instead of asking:
“What do I want to accomplish this year?”

Try:

How do I want to feel in my body?
How do I want to show up for myself?
What energy do I want to protect?

Feelings last longer than checklists.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Change It

You are allowed to outgrow your word.

You are allowed to redefine it.
You are allowed to choose a new one if life shifts.

Your word is a companion—not a contract.

If You’re Stuck, Try This Simple Prompt

Grab a piece of paper and finish this sentence without overthinking it:

“This year, I want to give myself permission to ______.”

The word hiding in that sentence is often the one you’re looking for.

If you’ve already chosen your word, hold it gently.
If you haven’t, trust that it will find you when you’re ready.
And if all you’re doing this year is surviving—let that be enough, too.