Preparing Your Child for Surgery

The idea of surgery and hospitalization can obviously be both overwhelming and frightening for any child. That’s certainly not discounting the fact that as a parent, you’re also worried about your child’s wellbeing. One important thing to remember is that you can help prepare your child for surgery, but you must be conscious of how you’re dealing with the situation as your child will typically look to you for reassurance.

Our youngest son just underwent his second and third semi-major surgery in three and a half years, and he is old enough that we talked about it and explained to him what the surgeries were. We talked about his recovery and explained to him that he would be given medicine to help ease any pain that he would experience following his surgeries. We were open and honest with him, and although he might not have understood all that we were explaining to him, we did our best.

Here are some ways to help your child cope and understand an upcoming surgery:

Be Honest

It’s easy to say inaccurate things or stretch the truth in an effort to reassure your child, but it’s imperative that you are honest with them. Explain to your child why they are going to the hospital and tell them what they will be experiencing while there. Explain it in simple terms. If the procedure is going to hurt, let them know that, but also explain that the doctors and nurses will do everything they can to make them as comfortable and pain-free as possible.

Research, Research, Research

Children are more intuitive than people think and can more than likely tell when their parent is worried. Before your child undergoes surgery, conduct as much research as you can. The more you know and are able to share with your child, the more calm you both will be when it’s time for the surgery. The more your child knows, the more questions they will ask.

Let them Talk

Encourage your child to ask questions. Have a discussion together about the surgery and ask them some questions as well to get an understanding of what their thoughts and feelings are of the surgery. Some questions to ask might include:

What do you know about the surgery you are going to be having?
Why do you think you are having it?
What do you think the hardest part of the surgery and/or hospital stay will be for you?
What do you think the best part will be?
What are you worried about?
What questions do you have for myself and/or your surgeon?

Another wise thing to do is to include other siblings into this conversation and other caregivers who will be around the child undergoing surgery.

Affirm your Child’s Feelings

Your child will be experiencing a variety of emotions, and it’s so important to let them feel all of them. Affirm them and help them work through them. Let them know it’s normal to be frightened or anxious, but remind them that you’ll be there for them throughout the procedure.

Word Choice

Try to keep explanations simple and use simple words carefully. As an example, for a child that has to have anesthesia, avoid sayings things like “put to sleep” because that might remind them of when a pet had been put to sleep and that statement could create unnecessary concerns. Instead, explain that the doctor will give them special medicine that will help them fall sleep but that it would only be temporary. It’s similar to taking a nap.

Play Doctor

If the procedure is one that can easily be replicated, try to explain what the surgery will be by playing interactively with them by showing them what the surgery is. They can play the doctor or patient, and you can play the other one. This will help ease their minds and gives them an idea of what will occur in a way that a child would better understand.

Learn about the Surgery Together

More than likely there are articles or books about the surgery your child is undergoing. Look at those resources together and learn more about the surgery together. I’ve included a few resources that might help explain surgery and hospital stays in general.

Be Patient

It’s important to be as patient as ever during your child’s surgery and the time leading up to it. Your child will be anxious and emotional because they don’t know entirely all that the surgery entail. They may be hard to comfort or may have angry outbursts and tantrums. Show your child some grace and remind them that you’ll be there throughout the surgery. The change in their attitude will likely improve following the surgery as the stress of the procedure and possible hospital stay has passed.

These are all simple ways to comfort yourself and your child as their surgery date approaches. The more you know, the more you discuss the surgery and allow your child to ask questions, the easier the outcome will be. Your child will feel informed and aware of what they’re going to be experiencing and allow them to feel confident going into it and coming out of it.