Things My Six Year Old Says

In honor of my eldest son’s seventh birthday next month, I wanted to share all of the hilarious, crazy and wild things he has said throughout the last year. I have been sharing his silliness for years now, and each year I feel he get’s more witty, more observant and a bit more grownup.

Not only is this kid the funniest person I have ever met in my life, he’s caring and crazy, wicked smart.

Here are some of the most hilarious things he has said over the past year.

“Guess who is my best friends in the whole entire world?? My whole entire family.”

“Do girls make smarter choices than boys?”-Braxton

“Yes!” said mom

“How?” he asked, “Is that what girls were mad for?”

Mom do you use good Rx? I don’t know what that is, but you use it to save money and get coupons. I saw a commercial for it…”

I’m not sure why so many people like me. Maybe because I’m handsome and cool.

After losing another tooth, “People aren’t gonna recognize me without this tooth once we go back to school, I look so much bigger.”

Wanna know what goes good together?? Our family.

Witnessing the protesting- “I’m about to gather all my nerf guns and go shoot them all in order to make them stop” He said this is a way for people to have more fun and care a bit more about each other. It was not malevolent at all.

“Do girls poop? Braxton asked.

“Yes.” Mom (me) replied.

“Ewww. How big and what do they look like?”

Watching the movie, ‘Midland’–” Yay! That’s what you get Japan, you old Ancient Dynasty! Yay!”

“Mom, all the boys in the world are cool. And all the girls dress nice.” Braxton announced.

“Who did you hear that from?” Mom asked.

“A girl, mom”-Braxton

“Mom, I think I found a China rock. We dug so deep.”

“I feel like a teenager right now,” Braxton said.

“Why?” Mom asked.

“Because I feel like I’m being driven to 8th grade.”

After a conversation about how babies are made, Braxton just stares at us and says in all seriousness: “I guess I’m learning to speak Spanish.”….I’m sorry, but what?

After talking very seriously about Sasquatch, he said “and did you know that Ms. (name left out) didn’t know his real name?!” Me: “wait, what’s his real name?” Looking at me like I’m crazy. Braxton: “His real name is Darryl”

“In heaven, God made it possible that dogs can eat chocolate without getting sick.”

Putting powder on Beckett after the boys bath, I said “oh you have some diaper rash” and Braxton says “why don’t you ever look at my privates?” Then he looks up to Jason “why don’t you look at dads privates? Is it because they’re yucky?”

Watching American Ninja Warrior Braxton commented on how a 15 or 16 was sexy. He then paused and asked Jason what sexy meant. Jason responded with pretty. Ohhhh ok.

Brax says”that rice is good.”

I respond, “It’s gluten free, Brax.”

Him: “So it’ll break your bones.” (Ummm..no.)

Braxton told his three year old brother to stop being a pussy (YIKES)

“Can’t wait to get my eyes and hands back on blue thunder” (Referring to his new nerf gun he got for Christmas)

“Why is a wombats poop cube-shaped?” Braxton asked curiously. “Maybe it’s butt is squared”

“The reason I play so much Minecraft is bc some people win a tonnnn of money..”

“‘The Greatest Showman’ and ‘Ole Town Road’ are my favorite songs. They’re kind of like twins! Ha, they’re my twins!”

After talking about the buccaneers winning the Super Bowl, “I wonder who else has wins Super Bowl, probably Michigan, Michigan state and the lions…” “buddy, the lions have never won a Super Bowl!” “Yeah bc they’re trash”

….