This is 4.

Dearest Beckett,

Today you turn four, and I find myself wondering where all the time has gone.  I’m still not entirely convinced that we didn’t miss a year, but you are indeed four.

Ever since you came into our lives, you’ve kept us on our toes. From spending time in the NICU unit to undergoing multiple surgeries to afford you the gift of sound  to just being this hilarious, fearless child, you amaze me every day. You’re a fighter. You’re so incredible fearless, and you’re such a loving little boy. You also have an attitude like no other, a stubbornness about you so frustrating it makes my head spin and you leave paths of destruction wherever you go.

You’re our last baby. Our last little. The one that when clothes are outgrown, they’re gifted to someone else instead of being stored for the next little. All the baby and toddlers toys are slowly being donated as your little mind and curiosity grows past them. You start preschool on Monday, and it blows my mind that you’re here already. You’ve fought so damn hard to get where you are today. You have worked tirelessly year after year with your therapists, and your speech has developed beautifully. There’s literally nothing stopping you.

During COVID, you handled your therapy virtually. You did the best you could. You struggled being cooped up, and yearned for human connection outside our home. You’re such a social butterfly. You’re a lot like your momma. You just want to be around “your people.”

Sometimes people have a hard time understanding you. It’s not secret that you can be a bit much to handle. They don’t understand what it means to be deaf. It’s not a black and white type of disability. It’s involved, yet so many people lack the drive or motivation to truly understand what it’s like to be deaf or what it takes to be a parent of a deaf child. I think you’re getting old enough now to understand and witness my fierce loyalty to you. The advocacy I have for you will never cease, and I do not have a problem speaking my mind on this matter. I’m your mother, and I’ll always have your back.

You can be loud. You are a bit too attached to me, and I sometimes I hate how much you need me, yet I do know that one day, I will hate how little you will need me. You pick on your big brother too much, and can be a bit of a bully. But, I know that you idolize the crap out of your brother. We just got to  work on ways to show that better.

I wish you’d let your daddy help you with things more. He is your father, so please believe me when I say that he can also grab you a juice box from the fridge.

You’re seriously one of the most hilarious people I have met. You’re witty. You’re sense of humor is out of this world, and your goofiness could end wars. You’re just a really funny kid.

I could go on and on about how fantastic and frustrating (at times) you are, but here are a few things I ‘d like to point out.

• I love that your term of endearment for your family and friends is “all my people”.
• You have a fierce love for your grandma with the crazy hair, aunt Ashley, aunt Christy and Liam.
• You have an unnatural love for Oreos.
• You love your dog, Charley.
• You love to egg your dog Charley on to try and eat the cat, daily.
• You fart, a lot, then proudly announce it as if we didn’t hear/smell it already.
• You love swimming.
• You read lips ridiculously well!
• You love strawberries and could probably live on them.
• You love Target as much as I do.
• You’re almost off your training wheels.
• You love painting.
• You love wrestling.
• You love Uno, Gold Fish and Grandma’s matching game
• You’re obsessed with Scooby Doo
• You’re best friends are Leo, Niki and Liam.
• You love frozen pretzels, Doritos and smoothies.
• You love participating in intense nerf gun battles.
• You love playing hide-n-seek.
• You love taking pictures with me.
• You’re obsessed with Matchbox Cars and Trucks
• You love Melissa and Doug toys.
• You love playgrounds and nature trails
• You’re literally so obsessed with Chocolate Ice Cream
• You’re the best cuddler.
• You are such a fighter, and you have been since the day you came into this world. It shows.
• You’re stronger than you know.
• Your favorite color is purple.
• You love getting your toenails painted to match mommas!
• You make the BEST faces.
• You have the best hair, and I miss the curls!
• You’re a thoughtful, caring and loveable little boy.

I could go on and on with this list. The fact of the matter is that you frustrate the living crap out of me on the regular, but I’m also so incredibly amazed by you. I’m so blessed and honored to be your momma, and I’m so happy you’re my little boy!

Cheers to FOUR. Even though you think you’re turning five today!

Here are some photos from the past four years.