Why Every Family Needs a Safe Word
Gut check. Does your kid know about stranger danger? Do they know how to get out of a scary situation? Do they know how to ask for help? Would your child ever stay in a unsafe situation because they didn’t have a discreet way of leaving? Safe words can help!
- Every 40 seconds in the US, a child goes missing or is abducted
- More than 460,000 children go missing each year
- Of those 460,000, almost 1,500 are kidnapped
As a parent, we should be discussing safety rules, and boundaries, body safety,stranger danger and unsafe situations, but one of the most important tools we have implemented to use of is a family safe word.
The point of the safe word is that it is something, though easily memorable, that would immediately draw our attention. It’s not a word that all of our relatives or friends would know, but for our immediate family only. It’s a word that is not common in our every day lives, but it is a word that is not difficult for our children to remember.
Do not share your safe word with people outside of your immediate family, even grandparents.
We have told our oldest, since our youngest is still a bit too young to fully understand the purpose of the safe word and why it was implemented, that it’s not necessarily a secret, but rather a special code word for his father and I to be made aware of a threatening situation or situations that they are finding themselves in or are aware of. It is something we would want our children to tell us about immediately. We have also emphasized that they will not be in trouble for telling us anything, good or bad.
We want this safe word to mean that our children can come to us when they are uncomfortable. We want our children to talk about unsafe people, requests, touching, situations, feelings and if they need immediate help.
A safe word gives our kids a word, when they might not be able to find their own words when needed.
If your child is approached by an adult, for example, and they are striking up inappropriate conversations with your child, your child then come to regardless of where you are or who you are talking to and tell you the safe word. You know in the moment, that you must respond right away.
Children oftentimes have a hard time sharing unsafe situations or requests, especially if they are coming from someone they know such as a family friend or relative.
Role-play with your child so that they full grasp what inappropriate as far as touching, talking, unsafe situations and how they can transpire and escalate. This is not a one time role-play scenario because as your children grow, so will their environments and situations. They might be away from you more on overnight trips, play dates or sleepovers.
Also emphasize to your child, that predators and/or family members or friends will try to manipulate them into getting the safe word out of them. If someone is trying to get your child to tell them the safe word, then explain to your child that they should come to you immediately. Under no circumstances would the safe word ever be used, unless it’s coming from the parents or siblings.
Make sure you also thoroughly explain to your child what a stranger is. Explain to them how they might be approached by one who might offer them something to come “talk” or take a ride with them. Explain to them that they should never go with a stranger anywhere even if the stranger tries convincing them that they know their parents or were asked to grab them. That’s a perfect example of when your child should be asking that person what the safe word is.
Implement a safe word with your child or children immediately. It could save their life.
Here are other helpful tips from the FBI on kids safety!
