13 Ways to Be Better Partners in Marriage and Parenting

Relationships aren’t easy. They’re hard, and they take a lot of work to make them work. One way to make them work is to be partners both in marriage and parenting.  It’s imperative that you and your partner work together to make your relationship work. Here are 13 of the most important things I have learned about being partners in marriage and parenting.

Teamwork

You and your spouse must work as a team on everything whether its chores, shopping, parenting styles, finances, etc. You don’t have to do everything together, but be prepared to help each other out where and when needed.  You might each have your own chores that you’re responsible for doing, but be OK with helping each other out, and be willing to lend a hand when needed.

Make Time for Each Other

Make time for each other. Even though you are partners in marriage and parenting, you are still people who need to spend time together. Make time for dates nights each month. Don’t let life become too busy to focus on your marriage.  Remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place.  Your relationship should never ever be put on the back-burner. Show your children what a successful and loving relationship should be like. The season of parenting isn’t easy, so it’s important to make this time to just have an uninterrupted conversation, enjoy a warm meal and just enjoy each other’s company. My husband and I are awful at this to be honest. It’s a constant struggle to make this time happen, but we’re working on improving in this area.

Choose your Battles Wisely

Learn to pick your battles. You and your spouse will drive each other crazy if you’re too busy being annoyed by something that probably isn’t worth an argument in the first place. Before you find yourself getting annoyed and frustrated, ask yourself the follow questions:

• Is it worth an argument?
• Will this matter a year from now?

If you answer “no” to these questions, it’s probably not worth getting upset about nor arguing over. Move on.

Admit when you’re Wrong 

We’re human. We all make mistakes whether you want to admit it or not. We’re also far from perfect. Remember that the next time you want to engage in an argument that probably isn’t worth it. If you’re wrong, suck it up and admit it. Swallow your pride and move on. It’s hard, trust me, and I still struggle with this personally (as does my husband) but I promise you that if you start doing this, it’s going to make a huge difference in your marriage.

Partner Together on Big Decisions

Work together on big decisions and always consult with each other before making one. When it comes to making a decision such as buying a car, booking a vacation or deciding what school your child will be attending, do it together! These decisions cannot be one-sided. When you work as a team on big decisions, you’ll both be on the same page, which is very important.

Agree to Disagree

Understand that you do not have to agree with your significant other on every single thing. I repeat, you and your spouse do not have to agree on everything! It just won’t happen. You both need similar values in order to agree on important issues, but you’re allowed different tastes in other things such as music, movies, books, etc. You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you think you have to agree on everything to make parenting and marriage easier.

Communicate

Relationship is the glue that holds a relationship together (in my opinion).  You must be willing to communicate with your spouse even when it’s hard and you don’t want too.  Talk about your day, talk about the weather or the latest celebrity scandal. Understand that communication isn’t just talking about problems; it should be a daily activity.  Make sure your communication is both positive and as well as negative, and be receptive to both. And never go to bed angry.

Work Together Financially

When you enter a relationship, more than likely one, if not both, will have some sort of debt.  One of the biggest issues is when those in a relationship don’t work together or work to be on the same page when it comes to budgeting, paying off debt, spending money and understanding your overall expenses. Have those conversations. They might not be pretty, but it’s important to come up with a plan and tackle it together while holding each other accountable.

Understand Each Other’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Make sure to understand what your significant other’s strengths and weaknesses are and appreciate them for what they are. Acknowledge what your partner does well and do it in a way that they feel appreciated. If they have a weakness, help them work on it and grow through it.

Support Each Other and Stand United

Relationships fail when people involved in a relationship fail to support each other. Be there for your partner during every life moment including parenting your children, family issues, career decisions, financial issues, etc. You must be united in each other’s decisions. If one parent puts their foot down on something, the other parent must also be on board and back them up. Both must follow through with consequences and rules put in place. This will make you stronger as husband and wife but also as parents. Plus, your kids will understand that they can’t manipulate one parent into getting their way. This happens in our home, and we’re working on it!

Spend Time Apart

I love my husband, but I would lose my damn mind if I spent every minute with him. You do not have to spend every waking minute with your spouse. Learn to take time for yourself and make sure your partner does the same.  Parenting is stressful and there are tons of responsibilities associated with it. Take time to de-stress and relax. That might look differently for you both, and that’s fine. Just do it.  Everyone needs some “me” time. It’s necessary for our sanity.

Truly Appreciate Each Other

Appreciate what you have. Today it’s so easy to get distracted, and relationships get even harder because of social media, temptations, parenting, careers, and just the busyness of life. Take a step back to really enjoy what you both have. Remember why you started a relationship with your spouse. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. When relationships and parenting gets hard, a lot of people choose to jump ship instead of working at it. It’s easy to get a divorce these days, and sadly many choose this route for ease instead of trying to make it work. Don’t be a statistic.

Have Fun

Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun. Life can become hectic and chaotic, but if you remember to have fun and laugh despite it all, you’re way better off than those who don’t make time for fun. Be spontaneous. Be adventurous. Try something outside the box. Have fun as a family or just as a husband and wife (without the kids). You’ll never regret having fun, period. Don’t take life so seriously all the time.

 

 

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Your marriage, your parenting and your life might not be perfect, but if you have each other and work together as a team daily, you’ve got everything you need. Remember to support each other, communicate and make time for each other. Work together on decisions, financial plan together and learn to pick your battles. Let things go and agree to disagree on things. If you commit to working on these together, your relationship, marriage and parenting will get stronger.