8 Ways to Deal with Mom-Shaming

Whether or not you have kids, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “mom shaming”. Unfortunately, it’s an ingrained part of our culture that has been around for generations, and it’s becoming too familiar to many who have experienced some form of it. There are a few reasons why this has come to be, in my personal opinion. It could be the seemingly sudden onslaught of oversharing on media or because more individuals have become bold and gone to the point of brazenly judging someone for their parenting opinions and practices.

Some of the most heated debates usually surround vaccinations, television or tablet screen time, what we feed our children, homeschooling and treatment methods. It still blows my mind that these normally private decisions are suddenly up for debate when someone voices their opinion.

Heaven forbid your opinion differs from someone else.

I was recently mom-shamed. Let me rewind a bit-I’ve been mom-shamed pretty regularly since my second son was born. He was born deaf, and once we announced our plan of support, I started receiving nasty messages. Messages from individuals who told me that my son was born deaf and to stop playing God. I was told that we’re only trying to “fix” him and that we weren’t doing anything for him other than discriminating against him and his deafness. We were told that he’d always struggle and that we were “half-assing” parenting. It was a personal attack.  It was awful and so incredibly disheartening. Some of these individuals are not even hard of hearing or have children who are hard of hearing.

I fear for my son who will unfortunately encounter mean, judgmental individuals such as what I have encountered.

All of that said, here are some 8 ways to deal with mom-shaming:

1. An un-judged and un-shammed parent, realistically, does not exist. Because of this, don’t be caught off guard when it happens to you.
2. Understand that those judging you makes them feel better about themselves and their situation.
3. Beware of the know-it-alls. Don’t waste your time arguing with these individuals.
4. “Mom-shaming” typically occurs when someone’s trying to mask their own insecurities or guilt about things they wish they had done differently.
5. Surround yourself with those that support you. They’re your tribe. Remove those who judge your family and decisions from your life.
6. Embrace your sense of humor as armor against any received judgement. Sometimes the judgement you receive it laughable.
7. Some people’s judgement stems from ignorance. They might not understand what you have been through and why you made the decision you made.
8. You know your child better than anyone else. Stand by your decision. Be confident about what you believe is best for your child-not what others believe or say you should be doing.

It still amazes me the audacity of some people. I don’t feel that anyone has the right to criticize my parenting decisions or anyone else’s for that matter. Sure, I might disagree with them, but to attack and shame someone is just not necessary.

I encourage all to ask questions before judging. Take a walk in their shoes before crucifying them. I also want everyone to know that I’m in your corner. If you have a child that others might consider different, you can totally sit with me! Let’s grab a coffee, and share why our child is so damn incredible.