8 Elements of a Great Marriage

Marriage is no walk in the park. It takes work and lots of it. Though I don’t pretend or claim that my marriage is perfect, I will say that there are 8 things at the heart of a great relationship.

Here are eight elements of a great marriage:

1. Friendship- We are best friends, and we’ve built our marriage based on that fact. We are friends first, a married couple second.  I think it’s so important to be friends before venturing into marriage.
2. Sex- Intimacy is imperative in a marriage. It’s easy to let life get in the way of intimacy, but it’s important to make time for it. It may be weird scheduling time for intimacy, but you do what you have to do. Sex can be great if you fight hard for a great sex life.
3. Aligned Values- What are the core values of your relationship? What matters most to you? When you feel trapped or are stuck in a rut, it’s because you don’t know each others or possible even your own values. If you don’t know your values, you’re unable to pursue them.
4. Communication- Communication is key to a great marriage. Are you able to openly express yourself? Are you able to communicate your needs and wants? Do you feel comfortable sharing your dreams and your deepest fears with your spouse? Can you say that you actively hear your spouse’s hopes and desires? Can you share an opinion or speak without the fear of judgment? Talk through everything together, and try to never go to bed angry. Having an open line of communication is a must.
5. Teamwork- We all eventually find ourselves in a tough situation, and it’s important that during these times you have the “me and you against the world” mentality. If you find that you two are at each other’s throats instead, then you’re not working as a team. Work to support and empower each other so you can tackle anything, both good and bad, that is thrown your way.
6. Individual Growth- Working on yourself personally is a key component to showing up in your relationship. You’re dedicated to growing as a couple and in your marriage by supporting and encouraging each other as individuals in whatever ambitions and goals you each desire. If that’s eating more healthy, try committing together to eating healthy.
7. Intentionality- Do you still “date” each other? Are you intentional when ensuring you have alone time with your spouse?  Do you still make an effort to leave a sweet note from time to time or start each day by kissing your spouse? Do you plan a date night sans kids a couple times a month? You need to be intentional in your relationship if you wish for it to thrive.
8. Patience/Forgiveness- We’re human. Mistakes are inevitable and oftentimes unavoidable as no one is perfect. One of the most important elements of a good marriage  is learning patience and forgiveness. Mistakes will be made and feelings will be hurt, so it’s important to work together towards forgiveness and the ability to be patient with eachother.

Want to read more about relationships? Here are 30 Ways to Reset your Marriage.