Yes, I’m a Twin. What’s the big deal?

For as long as I can remember, people have been asking my twin sister and I what it’s like being a twin. I’ve expected questions over the years, but thought they’d become less stupid and the frequency in which we received them would go down. We both were surprised to see the exact opposite happen.

I can’t say that I don’t get it, because I do. To those who were born solo, twins are just so fascinating to them.  I question people’s intelligence, at times, because it seems as though they lose their filter between their brains and their mouths unfortunately because we receive some pretty ridiculous questions. Sometimes the questions and/or statements are downright offensive.

Below are some of the things I have heard or experienced the past 28 years of being a twin:

You’re not TWINS. Yes we are. We may not look as much alike as we did when we were younger, but I assure you that we are indeed twins.

You must LOVE being twins. I mean it’s not bad, but we are used to be calling both of our names, people get us confused CONSTANTLY and we share a birthday together EVERY SINGLE DAMN YEAR. Yeah, we “love” it.

Have you boyfriends/spouses ever gotten you mixed up? Sadly, yes. My sister showed up to my son’s first birthday party wearing nearly an identical outfit. In the past, our boyfriend/spouses have also gotten us mixed up, never to the extreme though!

What’s it like being a twin? What’s is like NOT being a twin? I imagine we’d feel the same as someone who was not a twin if we weren’t a twin? We have been twins our entire life, so we have NO idea what it’d be like to NOT be a twin.

Do you feel each other’s pain? Though we at times have a sense about the other twins’ well-being, we cannot technically feel each other’s pain. When we were in kindergarten, I actually had a kid throw a rock at me only to see if my sister could feel it. That kid was a little shit, and it was a big rock.

Do you guys have telepathic powers? If you’re inquiring as to whether or not we have Folie à deux which is French for “madness shared by two” or in other words two individuals having a shared psychosis, then no, we don’t have telepathic powers. But, thank you so much for assuming we have a psychiatric disorder.

Are you two twins/sisters? We LOVE this question and our immediate response is, “No, why do we look alike?” Wait, what? Yes, we are assholes. We usually only let this go on for a moment or two, but we love messing with people.

Who is older? Do you have the same birthday? I can see that there is a slight chance that my sister and I could be born on different days. I could have been born on June 25 at 11:56pm, and she could have made her debut on June 26^th at 12:01am, BUT this was not the case for us. Yes, we have the same birthday, and I am older by 4 minutes. Does that answer your question?

I like you better than your twin. Gee, thanks for making it uncomfortable now.  We don’t like to be compared whether it’s in a favorable or unfavorable manner. Keep those opinions to yourself, please. We have been compared our whole lives, and as adults, we are over it.

I wish I had a twin. No you don’t. Enjoy your independence and not having to share a birthday with anyone.

Do you share each other’s clothes? I mean it’s not as though we live together and just steal clothes from each other’s closets. On the rare occasion that I need something that she has, then yes, I will borrow from her. I’m slightly taller than my twin, so sometimes borrowing clothes works while other times it doesn’t. It is nice to have the option? Absolutely.

Have you ever had the same guy go after you and your twin? Yes! More times than we’d like to admit. Note to men who do this, we tell each other nearly everything so if you mack on me and then try to mack on her, the outcome won’t be favorable for you.

Which one are you? Which one do you want me to be? At this point in our lives, there are enough differences to tell us apart. If you still can’t tell us apart, ask someone else.

Did you parents take fertility drugs or do twins run in the family? I’m so glad that people resort to automatically jumping to the invasive questions regarding how one became a twin.  For those who have to use fertility drugs to get pregnant, I highly doubt they’d care to discuss it as it is probably a sensitive subject. And again with all of the family history questions, they’re just not necessary. We’re twins. Does it matter how it came about?

I bet you’ll have twins when you have kids! If you DO have twins, I’m sure you’ll want a boy and a girl, right?

The opportunity alone to be a parent is amazing, but I don’t care if we have twins or not and just because I’m a twin does not guarantee that I’ll have twins. IF I were to get pregnant with twins, I wouldn’t care what the genders were just as long as they were healthy.

Who is smarter? Considered the prettier twin, etc?

Again, ever since we were littler we were compared to each other, sometimes inadvertently, sometimes on purpose. We are adults here and have our own families, so we’re over the whole comparison thing. Thanks for asking though.

Are you super protective of your womb-mate? I mean I guess we are to an extent, but again we are both married and I have a son so I tend to be pretty protective over my family. We constantly stand up for each other and we hang out a lot, but we also know our boundaries.

I’m not telling those who encounter twins to not ask questions, but do it in a non-invasive and tasteful manner. Think before you speak, and make sure that you are mindful of their feelings.