Things My 5 Year Old Says
Every year since my son start forming coherent sentences, I have recorded the things I have found comical and worthy of saving because as a mother, I want to remember these things forever. And also, my oldest is pretty darn hysterical. For those who know him, you’d probably agree. He’s also relatively naughty and tends to say some off-the-wall things a well, which I don’t always record for obvious reasons, but sometimes I do, because I can.
Without further ado, here is the running list of off-the-wall phrases, comments, sentences and conversations my 5 year old has said throughout this past year:
- After smearing red ice cream around his mouth, ” Mom, look at my make-up!”
- “I can floss better than you!”
- “Oh for goodness sakes, this is sooooo good!”- His comment to trying maple flavored breakfast sausage for the first time.
- While playing Simon Says, ” Do 16 Push-ups!”
- “Brax, when did Georgie leave daycare?” His response, “Umm, maybe 1980?!”
- “I accidentally punched my ass”
- “They’re not nipples, they’re ears”
- “Bye mom, try not to lose your job.” He said this to me after I dropped him to to school.
- “Dad, what’s the name of that movie again?” Jason: “I don’t remember.” Braxton: “Think really hard with your head, dad!”
- “Do I make babies?”
- “I know how to handle myself. I’m a five year old!”
- Me: “Do you know how many continents there are? 7”. Braxton: “That sounds like enough. We don’t need anymore.” Jason: “Trump would love you.” Braxton: “He already does. Everyone loves me. I’m Braxton Leland Jones”
- “Look at your weiner cheeks!” Referring to my husband’s man parts.–I’m sorry, I just can’t still with this one…..!!
- While sitting in the car as the gas is being pumped. Braxton: “Oh mom, your eyelashes and hair look so beautiful!”
- Braxton was asking where he came from and without hesitation before I could respond says, “I came out of your heart, man!”
- “Well, my belly button was too close to my penis, so I pissed all over it!”
- “Look mom! I made an angry Mrs. Potato Head. Look, she even has eyes in the back of her head..just like you!”
- Braxton: “Mom, this poop is so big it’s not coming out. Come on!” Me: “Here, drink some water.” A few minutes pass. Braxton: “I think it’s working! Ewwww…it’s chunky and gross-it’s so fat. Okkkkk! And my poop’s out! It looks like an old brown plan without wings….”
For the list of crazy, off-the-wall and absurd things he said last year, click here.
What are some crazy funny things your little one has said over the years. Do you keep track of all the things they say too?! Share below! I’d love to hear I’m not the only crazy mom that shares the things my son says!
