When I think back on how Jason and I started dating, I kind of cringe as I recollect my memories of it. I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart after nearly four years in an off and on again relationship. I wasn’t much interested in meeting someone else nor dating. I ran into my, now husband, a few weeks after I had ended my previous relationship and I didn’t mean for us to last. Now, I know you’re jaw just dropped to the floor on my awkward confession, but it’s the truth. I thought that he and I would have a good time for a while and then he’d realize I was too young for him and I’d hook back up with my ex (again).
I never meant to fall in love with Jason. It just happened. I remember thinking when we first starting seeing each other that it was short-lived and again I’d jump back into my old relationship and I would be no better off than I was before. First off, why would I want to be in a relationship that was tumultuous? Secondly, why did I not think that I may be the perfect woman for Jason? As Jason and my relationship grew, so did my feelings for him. My feelings for him grew quickly, and I’ll be honest and say that it scared me. I didn’t think that I could have such strong feelings for someone so quickly. I felt sick about it.
I thought about ending the relationship with Jason because I didn’t think I was being fair to him. I had some small hopes my ex and I would get back together, but not for the reasons most people would think. We were together for nearly 4 years, so that’s all I knew. I was comfortable with it for the most part, and I didn’t really like change. We had experienced our fair share of ups and downs, but at the end of the day we were together. I never realized how unhealthy my relationship with my ex truly was. I should have known that he and I wouldn’t have ended up together because I was his first serious relationship. That was really hard to comprehend because I knew he would always wonder what else was out there.
I guess that’s why I fell for Jason so hard and so quick. He had tested the waters and knew exactly what else was out there, and yet he chose me. I was 22 years old and finishing up my undergraduate degree with plans on furthering my degree by obtaining my MBA. He was 30 years young already several years into his career. As the weeks went on my feelings only grew and I thought less and less of my ex. I was happy. It felt amazing knowing that I was what he wanted and that he wasn’t thinking about what else was out there.
So, here is my confession. When I first started seeing Jason, I never meant for it to last. How could I have imagined that he saved me from a potential life of misery. I’m not saying my ex is a bad person because he’s not, but we just outgrew each other and were headed down very different paths. I thank God every day that Jason was brought into my life in order for me to experience a whole new level of love. Here we are 6.5 years later with 3.5 years of marriage, a 9 month old, 3 moves, a few career changes and two dogs later so in love and content in our relationship.
My advice to those men and women who is experiencing relationships similar to what I experienced….it’s never to late to start over. Don’t be scared of change. Some change is so wonderful. I look back at what my life was and then see what it is today, and I can truly say that I’m thankful for all that happened in the past that brought me to my husband. We may not have the most conventional love story, but it’s our story nonetheless.