What I've Learned (so far) being a Mom of a Child with Cochlear Implants

My son has only been implanted and activated for a short period of time, but I feel like I’ve been thrown head first into this emotional roller-coaster of being a mother of a child with a cochlear implant. Let me clarify something first before all the mom shamers come attacking. Having a son born deaf who has cochlear implants is NOT something that I consider burdening. He is an incredible little boy, and I love him just the way he is. What I am saying is that this is a tough journey. Any mom raising a child who requires extra needs knows how emotional it can be to raise that child.

What I have learned throughout this entire process is that I’m learning right along with my son, emotionally, mentally and every way in between.

Here are five things I have learned as a mother of a child with cochlear implants.

The Cochlear Implant is an Amazing Device

I did a ton of research on cochlear implants before my husband and I chose our device. We were not familiar with deafness, we didn’t know what it mean’t for our family as we didn’t have any family history of deafness, and we certainly were not prepared to hear about the long journey ahead. The one thing we did know was that we were so fortunate that there was a device designed to help those who were deaf or hard of hearing hear!

Eventually I’ll know what I’m Doing

I’ve learned that there is no easy way to learn everything there is to know about cochlear implants. On the day of activation, we were literally sent home with two bags full of equipment, brochures and accessories. It was so overwhelming, and we’re still overwhelmed. Granted, we’re still knew to the devices. I’m learning to accept that there will always be things I’m learning as new upgrades become available, advances are made and as his brain adjusts and interprets to new sounds.

There will always be Critics

Unfortunately, as a parent, you will always be judged for decisions you make whether large or small. I’ve been mom-shamed because I’m a working mom with a child who has a “disability”. I’ve been mom-shamed because I opted to have the cochlear implant surgery done. My advice is to find a support group whether it be online or in person. Connect with others who have a deaf child or hard of hearing child. Connect with those with cochlear implants. Immerse yourself in the deaf community.

As parents, my husband and I made the right decision for OUR son. I’ve accepted that there will always be critics and individuals who want nothing more to shame you for doing what you feel was right for your child. It’s an unfortunate but very real reality.

People will stare because He looks “Different”

One of my BIGGEST fears is that my son will be bullied. I will always worry about the way people look at him and treat me because of his implants. Cochlear implant technology will allow him to have spoken language and hear, but he will always have struggles. I pray that people understand that and treat him the same they would if he could hear without the help of technology.

My hope is that when adults stare, they at least open their mouth to ask a question to educate themselves. With children, it makes sense when they stare. They don’t really know any better. He received stares while wearing hearing aids, and at first I really struggled to not give them dirty looks. Now I’m learning to be patient and show some grace.

He will learn at His Own Pace.

Getting cochlear implants is not a “fix all solution”. It’ll take months and years of speech therapy, fine tuning and appointments. I’m an “immediate results” kind of girl, so I’m having to really practice patience. My son will develop and grow on his schedule, not mine. I can assist, encourage and support along the way, but ultimately he’ll work at his own pace.

I have to remind myself that he will have really good days and bad days, and the best thing I can do is be there supporting him and celebrating him.