Things you Shouldn’t Say to a Parent of a Child with a Disability
Having a child with a disability can be challenging for parents, both emotionally and financially. As a friend or family member, it’s important to be supportive and sensitive when speaking to parents of children with disabilities. Here are some things you shouldn’t say to a parent of a child with a disability, and some of these come personally from me as I have a child who was born deaf.
- “I’m so sorry.” While it may seem like a compassionate thing to say, apologizing can come across as pitying the parent and their child. Instead, offer words of support and encouragement.
- “What’s wrong with your child?” Asking this question can be hurtful and insensitive. Instead, ask about the child’s strengths and interests.
- “I could never handle what you’re going through.” This statement can make the parent feel isolated and alone. Instead, offer to listen or help in any way you can.
- “Have you tried [insert alternative therapy or cure]?” While it may come from a good place, suggesting alternative therapies or cures can be seen as dismissive of the child’s disability and the challenges it presents.
- “Your child doesn’t look disabled.” This statement is dismissive and denies the reality of the child’s disability. Instead, acknowledge the child’s disability and offer support and understanding.
- “It must be your fault for not taking care of yourself during pregnancy.” Blaming the parent for their child’s disability is hurtful and untrue. Instead, offer empathy and support.
- “God only gives special children to special people.” While this statement may be intended to be comforting, it can come across as patronizing and dismissive of the challenges that the family faces.
Instead of saying things that may be hurtful or insensitive, focus on being supportive and empathetic. Ask how you can help and listen to the parent’s experiences and concerns. Show them that you care and that you are there for them, no matter what.
