When you become a parent, you start doing some pretty disgusting things. Things that you never would have done prior to becoming a parent.
It’s not bad enough that you have to wipe poop off this little human butt for 2 or 3 years, but now you’re adding in all of these other disgusting things to your daily routine.
I think parents will agree that when you become a parent for the first time, it’s as though we suddenly have super powers. These super powers somehow enable us to not pass out when being hit with projectile vomit or scream when we get poop on us during a diaper blow-out.
Yeah right.. I still gag, and my son is almost two.
Here are 10 disgusting things only parents do:
Wipe snot off your child’s nose and/or pick your child’s nose with your bare hand.
Moms, dads..raise your hands! At some-point or another, you have taken one for the team and helped your little one breath easier by picking their nose or wiping the snot off their nose with your bare hand IF there isn’t a tissue nearby (or maybe even if there was).
Smells things in order to determine what they are.
We do this in order to determine if that spot on the couch or floor is throw-up or poop. We just want to know, and smelling it is the quickest and accurate way to find out.
Eat soggy or previously chewed food and/or receiving unwanted/chewed food.
I know my son loves sharing food with my husband and I even if it was previously in his mouth. After all, sharing is caring. Sometimes he expects us to eat it while others he spits into our hands after he has done everything to it besides digest it. It’s certainly enough to make us gag, but we do it anyways.
Clean their face with your Spit.
I used to despise when my grandparents or parents used their finger and spit to clean my face. I thought it was so disgusting, yet here I am years later using spit to clean my sons face. Funny how that works.
Allow your child to throw up on you.
It’s either you or that brand new couch. Pick your posion. Cleaning puke off of you is way easier than furniture or bedding, so unfortunately you’re going to have to let it happen.
Smell your child’s butt.
We are all guilty of doing this. If you think your child has pooped, you immediately smell it and feel the diaper to determine if they did.If your child has peed, you might also smell or even feel the inside of the diaper to determine if they did pee.
Stick your hand in the toilet.
There will be times when your child might ‘accidentally’ drop your phone or a toy into the toilet. You will ultimately have to retrieve your sunken treasure. Unfortunately, the easiest way to grab something in the toilet is with your hand. I don’t need to elaborate because you know what that means.
Taste your child’s food.
At times, you will want to try your child’s food. This could be the case if you suspect your child’s food is too hot or you just want to make sure it tastes ok. I’ve tried more baby food than I care to admit.
Snot Sucking (aka – Nasal Aspiration).
When your little one has a cold, you’ve probably had to use a nasal aspirator to help clear their nasal passages. If you don’t know what a nasal aspirator is, sit back and try not to get disgusted when I enlighten you on this disgusting, yet effective, device. One end of the aspirator goes into your child’s nostril, and the other end-the straw side-goes into your mouth.You suck the snot out of their nose. Fortunately there is a filter and it collects the snot in that instead of your mouth, but I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t done this yet. My husband has though. What a guy.
Sucking Dirt off of a Pacifier.
How many times has your child dropped their pacifier on the restaurant floor? Bathroom floor? Ground outside? If you don’t have a baby wipe handy to clean it off and your child is screaming for the pacy, you put that thing in your mouth to clean it off before returning it to theirs. Don’t even hesitate.
I’d like to see a show of hands for those parents who have done most, if not all, of these disgusting things at one point of another for your child or children.
There is no question that becoming a parent is the most amazing experience in the world, however; there is nothing that can quite prepare any of us for the amount of disgusting things we do for our child.
We love them, but damn do we do a lot of gross things for them.