What Women REALLY Want on Valentine’s Day (& every other day!)


What do women really want on Valentine’s Day? Is it the cliche of receiving flowers and chocolates? Is it a nice dinner out paired with a movie? Is it jewelry?

It may come as a surprise that most women in serious relationships, especially those that are married seek something very different than those in less serious relationships.

Here are some things women actually desire on Valentine’s Day and every other day. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be used as a way to make your significant other feel special for a day. Make them feel special every day of the week.

Women want to spend time with you:

This seems simple enough, right? It’s an easy and a relatively small request, but when you’re married, work full-time jobs and have children, finding time to spend strictly with your significant other is hard. Don’t find time to spend with your significant other strictly around holidays or special occasion, rather plan a date night once a week or month that you stick to. Women want to spend time with you, not just when “you should” make time like on Valentine’s Day.

Women want you to put your phone down:

Women hate when you’re not paying attention to them, and oftentimes the culprit behind that is your phone. Life is busy, and with the technology linked to smartphones you are constantly being drawn into them. Whether you’re checking text messages or checking your emails, ultimately that’s taking time away that should be spent with your significant other. Don’t think they don’t notice it.

Women want you to NOT let yourself go:

Just because you say “I do” and are involved in a long-term serious relationship does not mean you can let yourself go. Get to the gym and eat good. Don’t get too comfortable with your significant other to think it’s ‘fair game’ to let yourself go.

Women want to be desired by you:

It’s important to make your significant other understand that you want to have sex with them OTHER than for the mere fact that they’re there and that they’re your only option. Women think of desire in that you put effort into seducing them because you want her badly. You’re attracted to her, and you want her because she’s yours and only yours and that makes you damn happy. Think about when you first starting dating and how you couldn’t keep your hands off of them. THAT’S what she wants.

Women want you to talk to them with Nonverbal Communication 

Don’t just use words when communicating with your spouse, use actions and body language to show that you’re interested in them in a way that is both meaningful and evident.  Nonverbal communication speaks volumes. Try sitting down with your spouse and actively engaging in conversation by making eye-contact, nodding your head, by placing your phone in another room and taking in what she has to say intently. Chicks dig it when they have your full attention.

If your spouse is folding laundry or doing the dishes, try helping her with those tasks. It’s those little things that mean a whole lot to women.

Women want a honest man:

If a woman asks you a question, she really wants an honest answer.  Be kind when answering them, but understand that they’re seeking your honest input. As a woman, I want my spouse to answer my question honestly for several reasons. For one, I can tell when he is lying, so do me the courtesy of being honest. Secondly, I value your insight and whether it’s an answer that may not sit well with me or not, I still want to hear it. Lastly, there is nothing more attractive to me than an honest man.

Women like the public declaration of love:

For some women, public declaration of love is expected to be huge like a public engagement in front of her closest friends and family. For others, it’s smaller like receiving flowers at the office for no reason at all. Money doesn’t even need to be involved for others because some women want you to just hold their hand and kiss them public. There is nothing sexier than a man who shows his affection for his partner in public.

Women want to know that you love them and think of them:

Be specific when telling your partner the reasons why you appreciate or love them. Instead of sending a text that simply reads, “Miss you!” or “I love you!”, try sending her a text like, “I’m thinking of you, and I hope that you’re having a great day!” That is much more meaningful. Many men think of their significant other in a sexual way or are reminded of a memory that really impacted them positively from a while ago. Share that with your spouse.

Women want to know that you are a better person because they are in your Life:

Tell your spouse how she has impacted you in a positive way. Whether she has encouraged you to eat healthier and work out and you have seen amazing results or whether she has encouraged you to save money better and because of that, the account has more money in it than every before. She wants to know that because of something she said or did, it has helped you to be a better person.

Women want you to get close to them even when Sex is NOT involved in the moment:

Make it a point to interact with your spouse in a romantic way other than sex. This could simply be to hug your spouse when you see them or give them a slight smack on the butt. Have fun with it! It could also be reminiscing about the old days or having special words of endearment for each other. Try sitting on the couch and cuddle up nice and close to them. Those are little ways of being romantic and getting close to your spouse other than when sex is involved. Make it a point to do some of these things every day.

Women want you to Always choose them over Others:

Always pick your spouse over others. There will be times when your relationship may be tested by others. Your spouse wants to know that when push came to shove, you would take their side over someone else’s even when it involves their family or friends. This helps solidify the relationship, and when you support your spouse and love them, the feelings are easily reciprocated. It’s important that you two are a team and that you support each other especially when you’re married and have children together. Your children should see how supportive and loving you are to each other.


Women want you to be vulnerable:

Your significant other wants to know that you’re human and that you’re comfortable sharing your vulnerability. Women are more likely to open up and share with you their deepest darkest fears, insecurities and issues she is dealing with, but if you’re less likely to be open with them, it’ll make them feel over-exposed. They’ll be more likely to share less and be more reserved because of the way you are with them. Women are nurturers by nature, so they want to help out their significant other. Let them. They want to positively impact you and let you know that they are there for you through thick and thin. Don’t act like you’re immune to all emotions. 


Women want their spouse to show and express their love and admiration daily. It can be through small gestures, but it’s just enough to give them all the feels. Don’t rely on Valentine’s Day or other ‘hallmark holidays’ or special occasions to express your love for them. Do it daily. You will see exponential positive results of doing these things in your relationship.

Photo Credit: maf04,Vinoth Chandar





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